Dreams
The following is composed of parts of an email that I sent my dear friend Kate Butler earlier today and also motivated by an email I received from another friend last week concerning a few struggles related to life as we all know it is far from always being easy and those who believe that have just yet to live it.…it has been amended to exclude some more offensive remarks but I thought it conveyed the idea that while I am living an adventure it is not without times where I miss the things that will never be replaced with a random parade or triumphant act of life’s buffoonery.
I find it very easy to make a quip or comment but difficult to actually sit down to pen anything significant about my life here as it is really a changing situation day to day. Yesterday I had my first day working in my local school giving English classes in the morning and teaching about small business in an afternoon session.....to say it was not frightening would be the equivalent of saying Priests and Televangelists are without reputation. Imagine not knowing a language and having a group of Eighteen 16 year olds for two hours who know zero English beyond “my name is ________ and I like Volley” ( the preferred and I believe the only sport that girls take part in here….which on a side note I find oddly- simply because Volleyball is a grand game and it would seem that the male population is missing out on what is a genuinely enjoyable time….on the other side the gals are missing out on quite an experience in not having a go related to soccer, basketball etc. It is a commonly and well acknowledged fact that you can medically take days and years offone’s life by watching women’s basketball-it is horrendous……But that does not mean those participating in it do not enjoy it-for example my best gal friend Kate played in college and I watched in agony but she enjoyed her teammates and you can not go against the affection someone has for the joy of belonging to something that involves something beyond just themselves……my sister played and enjoyed it and not too long ago I think I recall her stating that she was somewhat of a defensive specialist which warmed my heart a good bit as I considered myself a shot blocking phenom for my size in my early twenties (my dearest friend since the 8th grade Christopher Myrick may tell you I swung my arms as helicopter would trying to pursue an opposing human body as it progressed towards the hoop). Regardless you are now standing in my dirty, sweaty, and what I would imagine rank shoes. It went as well as it could...they are all either fascinated with me or absolutely terrified. Some bald babbling gringo speaking in a foreign tongue……it does feel good in a way to see people in my daily predicament wondering what the H is going on.
There are great days and then days like today when I am exceptionally home sick......I went to slumber last eve after taking in a showing of Wallace and Grommit and the Case of the Were Rabbit (a grand film)- on my lap top. I turned my computer off in good spirits. However my night took a turn for the worse or for the sentimental…. two days or so before I was set to leave for Peru I was at my mom’s house...my whole family was there or was set to arrive…they may have been downstairs swimming or in fact not arrived at this point but it was just my mother and myself in the kitchen and I recall a hug turning into an embrace and a break down on both our parts....we both cried and I felt as if I could have held on to my mother forever-the thousands upon thousands of hugs, pats on the back, encouragement and lectures seemed all to come to a head in that kitchen in that very moment. If insides could be turned right side out mine would expose quite a few ugly things but it would also expose some purity in things and a love for that woman that I will never get to express properly through words or actions. I held on to her for a few minutes weeping like a child and to me that is alright because I will in fact always be her child regardless of my age. I dreamt of this occurrence what seemed like 10 times during the night- I woke up with a tear running down the side of my face…I know you have experienced it before….as I know I have….a dream that seems so real or is about something so real that even our unconscious weeps. I cannot say I remember many embraces during my 34 years……more than a handful-and the ones that I do are usually a result of a tragedy-I remember hugging my friends in a long john silvers when my father called to tell me my Grandfather died…..I remember my father coming into my house the day after Tami passed away and scooping me up and holding on to me…..this embrace was one that was the result of a son loving her mother for who she is to him and hopefully who I am to her. I realize I am far from the only person to have a person of terrific stature for a mother- in fact I know a number of them-however I will take mine and thank the good Lord I am lucky enough he matched me up in such a fortunate fashion.
I find it very easy to make a quip or comment but difficult to actually sit down to pen anything significant about my life here as it is really a changing situation day to day. Yesterday I had my first day working in my local school giving English classes in the morning and teaching about small business in an afternoon session.....to say it was not frightening would be the equivalent of saying Priests and Televangelists are without reputation. Imagine not knowing a language and having a group of Eighteen 16 year olds for two hours who know zero English beyond “my name is ________ and I like Volley” ( the preferred and I believe the only sport that girls take part in here….which on a side note I find oddly- simply because Volleyball is a grand game and it would seem that the male population is missing out on what is a genuinely enjoyable time….on the other side the gals are missing out on quite an experience in not having a go related to soccer, basketball etc. It is a commonly and well acknowledged fact that you can medically take days and years offone’s life by watching women’s basketball-it is horrendous……But that does not mean those participating in it do not enjoy it-for example my best gal friend Kate played in college and I watched in agony but she enjoyed her teammates and you can not go against the affection someone has for the joy of belonging to something that involves something beyond just themselves……my sister played and enjoyed it and not too long ago I think I recall her stating that she was somewhat of a defensive specialist which warmed my heart a good bit as I considered myself a shot blocking phenom for my size in my early twenties (my dearest friend since the 8th grade Christopher Myrick may tell you I swung my arms as helicopter would trying to pursue an opposing human body as it progressed towards the hoop). Regardless you are now standing in my dirty, sweaty, and what I would imagine rank shoes. It went as well as it could...they are all either fascinated with me or absolutely terrified. Some bald babbling gringo speaking in a foreign tongue……it does feel good in a way to see people in my daily predicament wondering what the H is going on.
There are great days and then days like today when I am exceptionally home sick......I went to slumber last eve after taking in a showing of Wallace and Grommit and the Case of the Were Rabbit (a grand film)- on my lap top. I turned my computer off in good spirits. However my night took a turn for the worse or for the sentimental…. two days or so before I was set to leave for Peru I was at my mom’s house...my whole family was there or was set to arrive…they may have been downstairs swimming or in fact not arrived at this point but it was just my mother and myself in the kitchen and I recall a hug turning into an embrace and a break down on both our parts....we both cried and I felt as if I could have held on to my mother forever-the thousands upon thousands of hugs, pats on the back, encouragement and lectures seemed all to come to a head in that kitchen in that very moment. If insides could be turned right side out mine would expose quite a few ugly things but it would also expose some purity in things and a love for that woman that I will never get to express properly through words or actions. I held on to her for a few minutes weeping like a child and to me that is alright because I will in fact always be her child regardless of my age. I dreamt of this occurrence what seemed like 10 times during the night- I woke up with a tear running down the side of my face…I know you have experienced it before….as I know I have….a dream that seems so real or is about something so real that even our unconscious weeps. I cannot say I remember many embraces during my 34 years……more than a handful-and the ones that I do are usually a result of a tragedy-I remember hugging my friends in a long john silvers when my father called to tell me my Grandfather died…..I remember my father coming into my house the day after Tami passed away and scooping me up and holding on to me…..this embrace was one that was the result of a son loving her mother for who she is to him and hopefully who I am to her. I realize I am far from the only person to have a person of terrific stature for a mother- in fact I know a number of them-however I will take mine and thank the good Lord I am lucky enough he matched me up in such a fortunate fashion.
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