Free Time
As a volunteer of the Peace Corps one inevitably has more free time on their hands then they are accustomed to in the states. We work no 9-5 schedule –there is no gym, there are no happy hours, no pool parties, no in town movie theatres, bowling alleys, skating rinks (not that grown men spend much time at skating rinks), or malls…..and the work is sought out more than delivered to ones door. I have begun a few projects within my site-I am working at schools 3 days a week, am assisting in the Planning of a festival for the Beekeepers Association, and working on my project for the government which is classified as a Community Diagnostic. What is this place about, what are the strengths, weaknesses, where does it need help, and how can I help it? The latter part of that sentence being the part that lends one to wonder of being an effective human being in a foreign culture….pretty normal feelings all things considered. With my spare time I have taken to watching TV series which is something I have not done since my days of settling into Growing Pains, Who’s the boss, and Different Strokes. During my days at college I indulged a fair bit in Little House on the Prairie and 90210. Opposite ends of the spectrum but good programming none the less. Nelly Olsen could have replaced Brenda or Kelly at any given point in my view-and who is to doubt Michael Landon in any TV role-an epic career by any stretch…Bonanza (or Ponderosa-my father would be ashamed if he knew my hesitation), Little House, and Highway to Heaven if I recall correctly. I indulged watching Highway to Heaven during my days of illness during my school days both real and faked it was no Hogans Heroes but…..….the same fellow who was a loyalist to Michael Landon on Little House who worked at the saw mill was his cohort in Highway to Heaven….I wonder how many people who read this will in fact have any idea of what I speak.
Regardless I have been doing a fair bit of reading along with watching more updated programs such as Dexter, Arrested Development etc. The most recent book I read was devoted to matters of the heart…the title itself was not that in itself—It is entitled Waking the Dead. It deals with a number of issues but a good bit of it is devoted to matters of the heart which is a phrase within itself that turns my stomach. I cannot recall a time when I have heard that phrase live and in person and not at least shuddered internally……it is the equivalent of the substitution of PB&j for Peanut Butter and Jelly ….it speaks of hearts broken, wounded, damaged, and healed. Which is far beyond me to question-I have had my heart broken in more ways than one….romantically, by friends, by family, by coworkers, by life’s expectations, and by life in general-who has not felt as if literally there was a stone sitting upon it, or what seems to be and very may be an actual ache inside from the blows life has dealt us. I have also have had it filled with joy, contentment, hope, trust, and vigor. I have made a lot of mistakes in my day, I have had many a success and they all affect the heart. I drove around in my mind all afternoon today trying to figure it-trying to understand an organ being more than that. Is it where our soulssit, what is that connects our emotions to something in our chestand what a miracle of design it is to in fact to be able to feel as we do. There is no miracle in pain, in the loss of something loved or the effects of events that lead us to despair but what a ride in feeling it all…the good and the bad as raw as we do. Recall in your mind your first kiss-I do…..the first time you held your child or in my case my niece, the first time you felt love for another….I do not know- that may transpire in the mind…but the feeling is in the heart.
Here in Peru the word for heart is Cortizone-and you can buy cow cortisone on a stick on many a street corners here in my fair new land. It is for the record quite good- also after reading the above I want to chop myself in the throat….but I refuse to delete……it is bad policy to regress on thoughts and emotions no matter how flakey they may sound.
Regardless I have been doing a fair bit of reading along with watching more updated programs such as Dexter, Arrested Development etc. The most recent book I read was devoted to matters of the heart…the title itself was not that in itself—It is entitled Waking the Dead. It deals with a number of issues but a good bit of it is devoted to matters of the heart which is a phrase within itself that turns my stomach. I cannot recall a time when I have heard that phrase live and in person and not at least shuddered internally……it is the equivalent of the substitution of PB&j for Peanut Butter and Jelly ….it speaks of hearts broken, wounded, damaged, and healed. Which is far beyond me to question-I have had my heart broken in more ways than one….romantically, by friends, by family, by coworkers, by life’s expectations, and by life in general-who has not felt as if literally there was a stone sitting upon it, or what seems to be and very may be an actual ache inside from the blows life has dealt us. I have also have had it filled with joy, contentment, hope, trust, and vigor. I have made a lot of mistakes in my day, I have had many a success and they all affect the heart. I drove around in my mind all afternoon today trying to figure it-trying to understand an organ being more than that. Is it where our soulssit, what is that connects our emotions to something in our chestand what a miracle of design it is to in fact to be able to feel as we do. There is no miracle in pain, in the loss of something loved or the effects of events that lead us to despair but what a ride in feeling it all…the good and the bad as raw as we do. Recall in your mind your first kiss-I do…..the first time you held your child or in my case my niece, the first time you felt love for another….I do not know- that may transpire in the mind…but the feeling is in the heart.
Here in Peru the word for heart is Cortizone-and you can buy cow cortisone on a stick on many a street corners here in my fair new land. It is for the record quite good- also after reading the above I want to chop myself in the throat….but I refuse to delete……it is bad policy to regress on thoughts and emotions no matter how flakey they may sound.
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